I Can’t Look Away From Trainwrecks

If this were well-written instead of being a horrific mess of the English language, maaaaybe it would be funny. Maybe. Also maybe if he had a real name (I’m praying to Jesus that it isn’t really Rumple)? Also, as tempting as it may be — I know murder is a hilarious subject — don’t mention dating and death in a Tinder profile.  Just don’t.

Let’s go “eat pizza”

Confession: I am going to kill you.

Submitted by a male friend in Boston.


Putting date and hang out in quotations makes this a little uncomfortable.  Are they in quotes because you’re making fun of societal norms, or because you’re being super bad at hiding the fact that you’re actually planning murder?