Wrong Answer

All I’m going to say about the very first message is why — why why WHY — do men think that kicking things off with some iteration of “marry me!” or “we’d make pretty babies together” is desirable?  Do they think that all women are so desperate to be married with children that they think the glee of perceived biological desire will outweigh the irritation at their very real inability to come up with a decent introduction?  Here are some ideas if you have NO IDEA what else you could possibly say:

  1. Hi, how are you doing?
  2. I enjoyed reading your profile!  How did you get into [insert a sport/hobby/activity they mentioned or were pictured doing]?
  3. Hey, I’d love to learn more about you — want to grab coffee or a drink sometime?

None of those are very creative or personal, but truthfully, I’d still rather get any of those.

If I can’t trust your taste in tacos, you sure as hell ain’t getting your mouth on mine. <mic drop>

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